Day 7: Sunday

Final Thoughts:

Today is Sunday, the final day of the SNAP Challenge. I'm feeling slightly nauseous, and I'm not sure if its from the thought of eating pasta with red sauce yet again, or if its because of the mixed emotions I feel, knowing that I will be able to go back to Dhall again and eat normally tomorrow. Knowing I only have a few more hours left of this challenge honestly makes me feel pretty relieved. This week has been stressful for multiple reasons. Not only was I juggling all of my classes/school work, my job, my social life, and my acapella group, I also had to carefully plan each and every individual meal I ate. Eating has never ever been a source of stress for me. Usually it is a stress reliever. I look forward to my meals because I know that they are a time for me to relax, catch up with friends, and take a break from the chaos that surrounds me. I have to admit that with the exception of Dalyan and Carlie's company, eating was a lonely, inconvenient, stressful, and unenjoyable time for me. Instead of looking forward to meal times, I dreaded them, because food no longer made me happy. Instead, I became a much more anxious, moody, and unengaged person. 

My parents have always taught me that if you work hard, apply yourself, and are motivated you can overcome any challenge you face. This week was the first time I ever questioned that philosophy.

I remember multiple times when my parents and I drove into Boston during the winter time, and we would pass by someone shivering on the sidewalk, holding a cardboard sign, asking for money or food. After locking the doors to the car, my mom would look out the window and shake her head sympathetically, and say, "Its just so sad..I just wish they would go out and try to find work instead of spending all day on this street corner..how is standing in one place going to ever help them move forward in life?" Back then, I completely agreed with her. At the time, her words seemed completely rational to me. Now...not so much. 

This week I learned that you cannot overcome any challenge you face just because you work hard and are motivated. During the poverty simulation, I was so determined to build a better life for myself, but no matter how hard I tried, I barely ended up with enough money to make ends meet. I was consumed by frustration and anger because no matter how many times I tried to take a step forward, it felt like I was being shoved backwards. When people say that hard work and motivation is the key to success, I know what they are trying to say, but they definitely need a reality check. The reality is that there are MILLIONS of people who want to make a better life for themselves. I guarantee that the people who are begging for food or money on street corners want to get a job, sleep in a house, and have a satisfied stomach at night. The lack of desire to succeed is NOT the problem. The problem is that these people lack access to nutritious and filling foods that will give them the energy and physical capability to take that necessary step forward. 

Our society loves hearing stories about people who started with very little means but were still able to achieve great success. I wonder when our nation will finally understand that these rags to riches stories are not reality. People cannot just pick themselves up by their bootstraps, work hard, and magically achieve success. Poverty is vicious, vicious cycle, and unfortunately it cannot be broken by the power of pure will. This week, I struggled to maintain my usual routine. I was constantly agitated and lethargic, and I realized doing the bare minimum so that I would not be expending too much energy. I cannot say that I truly understand how it feels to be poor and starving, but I can say that I experienced a fraction of that struggle. Participating in the SNAP Challenge was an experience that I will never forget, and although it sounds cliché, it truly helped me to step out of my bubble and become a more empathetic person.   

I believe that overcoming a challenge infers that there is a moment of triumph - a moment where you have reached the peak of the mountain and you can stretch out your arms and scream until your lungs burst, because you did it, you reached the top. I thought that on the last day of the SNAP Challenge I would have this moment of triumph...but it never happened. Sure, I guess you could say I overcame this challenge, but I don't really feel like I accomplished anything. Instead, I stepped into the shoes of someone who is far less fortunate than myself and experienced what they go through every day. I played pretend for a week, so that I could experience someone else's reality.